for information purposes only, not an endorsement
People say that anyone can buy anything on the internet. Is that true? Or is it just the clap trap of people who either fear or embrace the internet as the global playground that we imagine. Sure, we all know that you can find porn, politics, people, places and a plethora of purchasable potions available 24/7, 365 days a year. My mailbox gets flooded with junk mail about getting viagra, valium and a variety of persciption medicines delivered to my door discreetly and sometimes cheaply. All this without trips to the doctor or even a perscription.
But my friend, we'll call him "Sam," doesn't want pain killers from Canada or Mexico. He didn't need any "hard-on" pills delivered to his door. Sam liked to smoke pot. And Sam was out. No one seemed to have any. One day, after Sam had struck out on his quest to find a little herb for his weekend relaxation rituals. He looked for the afternoon, but all the usual connections were dry or unreachable. Now Sam wasn't like a "pot junkie" or anything, but like someone who enjoys a glass of whiskey after dinner or a few beers on the weekend, Sam chose was pot. Sam wasn't "jonesing" like a crack addict, or curled up and sick like a heroin abuser, he just wanted a little smoke to enjoy his free time. Sam decided a long time ago that if given the choice, he'd rather get high than drunk.
Anyway, we began discussing the internet. We discussed stories of people who supposedly sold cocaine on ebay. We wondered if it was true. Or better yet, do people sell pot on ebay? We joked as we smoked a little of some leftover roaches about how the commercials seem to suggest they sell everything, so why not? So, after signing on and going over to ebay and doing some searches, we came up dry. We even, just for fun, looked up the coke and some other drugs but found nothing. If the story was true, it wasn't happening when we checked. And trust me, Sam knows how to search a site.
Now that we were involved in the quest, we decided to go over to some other search engines and try out some stuff. We looked around, but only could seem to come up with advertisements and classified ads for all these "near-pot" substitutes with catchy names like "purple haze" and other trippy titles. Some of these ads look like they may be marijuana and some of the language is "fuzzy" at times. But careful review found these products to be something that wasn't marijuana. Sam considered checking some of these out, but he was unsure. We continued our quest.
Searching a little more, and by using a few off the wall keywords, we came across a site with some potential. It did indeed appear people were buying and selling marijuana, supposedly really good marijuana right online. The "ads" were disguised to the causal eye. Indeed this site, which was marijuana related, was not seeminngly set up to sell pot but had been converted to the purpose.
Through the code, we read some of the ads. It appeared this site had a system of people "vouching" for others. There were indeed some regulars here. The use was deemed medical in most cases, but some were not specific. Some folks were accused of scamming, but apparantly no one was getting busted. At least it wasn't being reported. We looked through the ads and came across one guy who seemed legit and possessed some very high quality, hydroponic British Columbian nuggets for the retail price of about 300 US an ounce. It was pricey, but hey, if it was as good as he said it was, it wasn't out of the question in the "retail" market.
Sam was of course nervous about the transaction. The "vendor" accepted credit cards only. Which meant that it would be tracable. Before jumping off the bridge, however, Sam decided to watch for a few days and see if he could find anything locally.
A week passed and another weekend was coming and Sam really didn't want to have another smokeless weekend. The previous one had him drinking instead of getting high and ended up with a nasty hangover. Something he wasn't used to with pot.
Sam decided this weekend would be different and after doing a little emailing with the vendor, he got the instructions to carry out the transaction and after a little confusion, did so.
The next 24 hours were hell.
About 10 minutes after completing the deal and getting a tracking number for his overnight package, Sam realized he had put everyone he loved at risk. His family, his future, his freedom, all on a curious stunt. That night, he slept little, wondering if tomorrow the DEA would be storming his door and his life, in effect, over.
The morning came and Sam rushed his kids off to school. As he awaited on his day off, he thought to himself that about the only decent decision he had made since the previous day was getting them as far away from the house as soon as possible. After the coast was clear, Sam nervously awaited the delivery man, or cops, or maybe nothing. Maybe it was a rip off. After all, if it was, who could Sam go to to complain?
Sam chainsmoked until about noon. At that point, the mail had come and a few delivery drivers had been through the neighborhood. Yet, no sign of any package for him. Sam decided to try out the tracking number that had been supplied by his seller, or theif. He went online and entered the tracking number and sure enough, there it was. It had started out at about 5pm the previous day and had traveled, apparantly smoothly to his local branch. Then Sam read something a little more disturbing...
" Delivery rescheduled for Monday..." and it listed the date.
"Oh no!" Sam thought. Had some dog sniffed it out? Was he busted? What was happening? He looked at the screen and considered his options.
Then he noticed a customer service number. Sam thought to himself, "the company is only up the street practically." He continued to question, " why wouldn't they bring it down here if they are open for probably at least 4 or 5 more hours?"
"After all" Sam thought, " I did pay for overnight shipping."
Sam smirked at himself as he considered all his options. He wondered if he could pick it up. He wondered if he was going to jail. Between the images of cop movies and interrogation rooms and the "what the hell" attitude Sam usually carried, Sam decided to call the customer service people.
He called and a rep wasa soon on, asking for the tracking number. Sam nervously gave it and she asked him to hold on. "Why would she need me to hold on? Sam thought. "Why is it taking so long?" Sam pondered as minutes seemed to fly by on hold as tunes played one after another. "Could she be alerting the police right now?!?!" Sam smoked some more cigarettes...
Finally the rep came back on and apologized for the wait. She then offered to send the local branch an email to see if something could be done. Sam asked if he could pick the thing up, or at least call himself. She responded by telling him that the local place had no such ability to accept his call and that this was the only way. She assured Sam that he would hear something within an hour by phone.
Sam hung up and waited for the call. An hour passed, then another. It was now 3pm and Sam was getting pissed. If he was going to jail, he wasn't going to go after having another smokeless weekend to just go to jail monday, arrested at work, possibly with a bad hangover. No, if he was goin down, it was today. Either that or he was gonna have a very nice and relaxing weekend. Which was the point in the 1st place.
Sam called the service line again. This time a different rep got his tracking number, which this time he gave more confidently. Afer all, if he was already busted, he figured they would have been here by now. They already know i'm home. The rep apologized and offered to send another email. Sam pleaded withthe rep this time, citing some "gift" reason for the urgency. He asked again if he could just go get it or at least call over there to see what was up. Sam's bawdiness was actually a bit funny at this point considering he was complaining about his illegal pot being late.
But again, the rep said this was the only way and promised fast action. Sam hung up and waited. He decided to retire to his basement level den. It was cooler down there and Sam had worked up a sweat complaining. About 15 minutes passed and Sam noticed a quick bark from his little pet dog. The dog did that when people came and went from the house almost instinctively. But usually it was a little more adamant of a bark. This time it was just one quick "ruff" and back to slumbering went the dog.
Sam thought for a few minutes and knew that the kids wwouldn't be home until later due to after school stuff and then thought maybe it was unrelated. A random bark for an unknown reason. A few more minutes passed...
Sam knew that he was going to check out the door upstairs, but decided to have a final cigarette before embarking upward. After all, he still didn't know if it was a set up. He finished his smoke and went upstairs.
From his bay window he looked across at the front door. There, on the welcome mat, he saw a parcel from the delivery company. He looked up and down the street, staying behind his translucent curtains, looking for anything unusual. were the Feds going to rush him as he touched the package? Would they wait until he opened it? Was that the sign? He thought it over and decided this was it...time to see if he really could buy pot over the internet.
he opened the door slowly and reached below and snatched the package inside, staying below the screen door's metal blocker. He looked around through the curtains, peering from behind for anyyone rushing the house. He decided enough was enough and to end the suspense once and for all...he opened the box.
And inside he found an envelope, manilla, medium size. He took it out and opened it...
And reached in and pulled out a vacuum sealed package, compressed and "stealth" as promised by the vendor. WOW!!! Sam smiled, the tension, at least momentarily, going away as he saw the light at the end of this rollercoaster's tunnel.
Sam looked around again,,,no cops.
Sam went downstairs and grabbed his favorite smoking utensil, some scissors and opened the package and weighed it on a portable scale he owned to keep his suppliers honest. It was a little light, about 1.2 grams, but nonetheless, it smelled and looked absolutely beautiful to Sam. Indeed this looked like some high quality herb. Finally, after all the anticipation, nervousness and 2 dry weeks, Sam fired up his bowl and gave the pot a test drive....
And it was good.